This Week we focused our service on the Annie Armstrong offering. Below is the videos that we showed during the Sunday morning and evening Bible Studies. Also I am including pictures and the script to the skit, That’s Not Funny Annie.
That’s Not Funny Annie
By: Annette O’Hare
Keith: Good morning, ladies and gentleman. These young students would like to present a short Bible quiz to demonstrate the vast amount of knowledge we have learned at Flemingsburg Baptist Church. Alright, who would like to volunteer to summarize the Bible in the shortest amount of time?
Joe: (Stands and raises hand wildly) Me! Me! Me! I can tell the entire story of the Bible in 50 words! God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled, bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God Walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died, love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained!
Keith: Thank you. OK… what kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
Keith: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
Lucille: Pharaoh’s daughter…she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Keith: What kinds of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
Gary: God said You are out of here! And drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a Fury.
Joyce: David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Ray: A Honda, since the apostles all went about in one Accord.
Keith: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
Margie: In the big-inning…Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain Struck out Abel, and the Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Keith: The Ark was built with 3 stories and the top story had a window to let light in. How did they get light to the bottom 2 stories?
Kenneth: They used Floodlights
Keith: Who was the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
Lucille: David…he rocked Goliath to sleep
Keith: What do they call pastors in Germany
Margie: German Shepherds
Keith: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Kenneth: Sampson…he brought the house down
Keith: What is the best way for lost people to get to heaven? Annie?
Patricia (Annie): Did you know that there are approximately 250 million lost people in the United States and Canada? That’s three out of every four people.
Keith: Uh, that’s not funny, Annie.
Patricia: It wasnt funny to Annie Armstrong either.
Joe: Who is Annie Armstrong?
Patricia: You don’t know who Annie Armstrong was? She was only the most passionate advocate for missionaries in Southern Baptist history!
Keith: Was this Annie Armstrong a funny woman? This is supposed to be a funny skit you know.
Patricia: I dont know if Annie was funny or not. I do know that she helped to establish the WMU in 1888. She also wrote thounsands uon thousands of letters to church and state leaders on behalf of all missionaries. Her rally cry, “Go Forward”, continues to be the WMU motto today.
And… because she cared so deeply about sharing the Gospel with lost people in the US that the North American Mission Board named its Easter Offering in her honor.
Joe: WOW! That’s impressive. What can I do to help?
Lucille: You can give to the Annie Armstrong Easter Offering
Kenneth: You can pray for the North American Missionaries
Margie: And you can participate in missions work, spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ through our community and our world.
Keith: Those are some great ideas but I still dont see the humor in any of this
All Students: groan loudly
Patricia: Ok, you want funny? How about I say, How many missionaries does it take to screw in a light bulb? And you say, One… and fifty lost people to see the light.
Keith: Than’s it!
Patricia: In John 9:4 and 5, Jesus said
Ray: We must do the works of Him who sent me while it is day.
Gary: Night is coming when no one can work.
Joyce: As long as I am in the world I am the light of the world.
Patricia: Please give to the Annie Armstrong Easter Offering for NAMB so that we can reach our 2012 church goal of $1500.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, we must work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith (Galatians 6:10)